My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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