i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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