You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
