I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize