I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and she was petting her beer can
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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