D3 body, D1 cock
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
