Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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