I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
