Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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