I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize