thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize