Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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