Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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