Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize