And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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