And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
