In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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