you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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