who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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