What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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