Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
