lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
