So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
