I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
