But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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