I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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