I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
