First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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