There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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