Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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