They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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