on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You ruined the universe
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there is puke in my bra ... again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
