Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize