thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
