i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
