That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
