I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
