after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
