My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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