This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
