Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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