she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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