I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your tits are I can't wait for
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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