I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
