for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
