Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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