Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your cock deserves a montage
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
