the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize