Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
