I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
