I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize