It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
