what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize