Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
