we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
