My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
MIDGETS
????
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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