Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My bed smells like the plague
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
