Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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