so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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