the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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