I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
