party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
be right there i have to get my cape
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
