Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
