did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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