My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
