do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
