Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Still dying that you shit outside
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
