You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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