The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
