SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
