dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
