How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
